Letting My Brain Settle In, Stellar Metamorphosis, Earth is an Ancient Star, Sun is a young planet

I have underestimated the time required to let my own brain settle into new facts and a completely new worldview. I was pushing myself so hard to work on the theory/understanding, while completely neglecting the emotional process needed to fully comprehend the new worldview.

It is very strange to say this, but I am essentially in the grieving process of losing a worldview of the Earth and all the other stars in the sky.

Looking at this from what I personally experienced it is so fucking true just looking at this really brings me back. It was an initial shock. Though, it was NOT bad news, it was incredibly GOOD news. It was paralysis of my brain. It caused me to press the self-destruct button to my loving relationship with my girlfriend as I turned to heavy alcohol use.

Next was the denial portion. I wanted to deny it by trying to message university professors and having them explain to me why it did not make any sense. I had also reached out to Bill Gaede to tell him about it, the most skeptical person I could find on the internet by the way (not the fake skepticism as provided by the jackasses of establishment, where everything that is mainstream doesn't need to be examined). He told me it made perfect sense. So in effect, I hurdled over the denial stage like a race horse. I blasted my way forward. As a consequence to blasting my way forward and with the absence of the denial stage, I was met with ignoring by the "experts". None would acknowledge me, or examine the idea. So naturally I began to get frustrated. I became angry that this incredibly important fact was being ignored. So I turned on the after burners and really dug in. I built a giant fortress in my mind, designed to defend the idea at all costs, because intuitively I began seeing the light. I saw how astronomers were not interested in truth, but in their own careers. This infuriated me even more.

That's when I began to bargain. Anybody can see that with a comprehensive record of me downright begging someone else to take the theory off my hands, because it was crushing to me emotionally and mentally. The archive can be found here, for the most part:


https://www.thunderbolts.info/forum/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=5734

The depression then set in. I came to the full realization of the inevitable. That I was in charge of 21st century star science. I became the top astronomer/astrophysicist/geophysicist on the Earth, with no official title or money to show the truth. It felt like I had 10 trillion dollars in gold and platinum, but it was buried deep in a mountain side and there was no way to get to it.

I started to drink all the time. Yea. While I worked on the theory, it went to anger/bargaining/depression in an endless cycle...for 6 years.

I'm not sure if the testing thing applies, so I guess I'll address it anyways. I guess seeking realistic solutions would include making a youtube channel and writing everything down in papers onto vixra. I needed to get the idea out there to the best of my ability. With youtube and vixra, anybody can see what I was thinking, feeling and could rewatch the ideas at their leisure without me constantly repeating myself. That would be gloriously frustrating to have to repeat myself constantly to every single person. The internet makes things so much more efficient in that regard.

I guess why I am writing this is because I am in full acceptance mode. Finally, after 6 years. I realize that it will not receive the recognition it deserves (written down in textbooks and taught to people so they know what the Earth is). It isn't just a giant rock with things running around on it. It is an ancient star, that has life itself transforming alongside it in a time-like fashion, on its surface (Mr. Anthony Abruzzo's wording of "stellar transformation"). I chose stellar metamorphosis because I remember writing a book called the hungry caterpillar, and it got so big that it ate skyscrapers and even had the square edges sticking out of its belly. I wrote that in 3rd or 4th grade. One can only imagine how large that caterpillar transformed into, when it underwent metamorphosis.

I guess that is what is happening to me. It is not the theory, "stellar metamorphosis" that is the transformation. I am experiencing first hand a new worldview and undergoing a metamorphosis in my thoughts and brain. It is not a fun experience, actually it is quite emotionally trying. For those who want to know, what would it be like to make a great discovery, or be a great scientist... I can tell you from first hand experience. It sucks. It is not glamorous. There are no "prizes" or "awards". It is down in the mud dirty, with rotten thoughts and very little sense of victory. It is a trudge though mud and nastiness that never ends.